{"id":89,"date":"2025-10-24T10:30:34","date_gmt":"2025-10-24T10:30:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/?p=89"},"modified":"2025-10-24T10:30:34","modified_gmt":"2025-10-24T10:30:34","slug":"the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/","title":{"rendered":"The Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cTough love\u201d has been passed down like a family heirloom, polished, praised, and misused for generations. It\u2019s the advice whispered to exhausted parents, shouted across intervention tables, and echoed through treatment circles,\u00a0 \u201cYou have to let them hit rock bottom.\u201d It sounds strong, responsible, even noble. But often, it\u2019s not love at all, it\u2019s surrender disguised as strength, punishment disguised as boundary.<\/span><\/p>\n

Real love doesn\u2019t need to be \u201ctough.\u201d It needs to be honest. And the way we confuse cruelty for courage has left too many families shattered, too many addicts isolated, and too many wounds that never needed to happen.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Birth of the Phrase<\/span><\/h2>\n

The term \u201ctough love\u201d was popularised in the late 1970s by Dr. David and Phyllis York, who used it to describe a structured approach to parenting delinquent teens. The intention wasn\u2019t malicious. They wanted parents to stop enabling destructive behaviour. But as the idea spread, it mutated. It stopped being about healthy detachment and became about emotional exile.<\/span><\/p>\n

Somewhere along the way, \u201cI won\u2019t rescue you\u201d became \u201cI\u2019ll reject you.\u201d Boundaries turned into barricades. Families were told to cut off contact, to kick their addicted children out, to let suffering \u201cteach them.\u201d But addiction isn\u2019t a moral failure, it\u2019s a disease of disconnection. You don\u2019t heal disconnection with more distance.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why \u201cTough Love\u201d Feels Right but Fails<\/span><\/h2>\n

The philosophy appeals to our need for control. Addiction makes loved ones feel powerless. You can\u2019t stop the drinking, the lying, the stealing, but you can enforce rules. You can draw lines. You can reclaim a sense of order in the chaos. \u201cTough love\u201d promises relief,\u00a0 if I\u2019m strong enough to cut them off, maybe they\u2019ll finally change.<\/span><\/p>\n

But the psychology of addiction doesn\u2019t work that way. Pain doesn\u2019t guarantee growth, it often guarantees relapse. Shame doesn\u2019t create clarity, it deepens despair. For someone already drowning in self-hatred, being abandoned confirms what they already believe,\u00a0 I\u2019m not worth saving.<\/span><\/p>\n

We like to think hitting bottom motivates change. Sometimes it does. More often, it kills people.<\/span><\/p>\n

Boundaries vs. Ultimatums<\/span><\/h2>\n

Boundaries are about self-respect. Ultimatums are about control. The difference is love.<\/span><\/p>\n

A healthy boundary says, \u201cI can\u2019t let you use drugs in my house, but I\u2019ll always help you find treatment.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span> An ultimatum says, \u201cIf you relapse again, I\u2019ll never speak to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

One invites accountability. The other breeds fear. Boundaries protect relationships,\u00a0 ultimatums end them. When people are addicted, they don\u2019t need threats, they need truth. They need someone who can say, \u201cI won\u2019t let you destroy me, but I\u2019m not giving up on you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s not weakness. That\u2019s wisdom.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Family\u2019s Addiction to Control<\/span><\/h2>\n

Addiction rarely exists in isolation. Families get addicted too, to rescuing, to controlling, to managing outcomes. When \u201ctough love\u201d enters the picture, it often becomes the family\u2019s detox. They finally stop over-functioning. But instead of finding balance, they swing to the opposite extreme. Coldness replaces compassion. Silence replaces boundaries. And in the name of recovery, everyone retreats into their own pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is what happens when fear drives love. Fear of being hurt again. Fear of enabling. Fear of judgment. It\u2019s easier to close the door than to stay open and uncertain. But recovery is built on connection, not control. You can\u2019t heal what you\u2019re avoiding.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Psychology of Punishment<\/span><\/h2>\n

Punishment gives the illusion of progress. It feels active, decisive. You\u2019ve drawn the line, made the choice, \u201cdone something.\u201d But punishment isn\u2019t the same as boundary. It\u2019s reactive, not restorative. It\u2019s a way to discharge your own pain instead of addressing it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Addicts already live with relentless self-punishment. Every broken promise, every disappointed look, every relapse becomes proof of their unworthiness. When families respond with more rejection, it reinforces the same toxic loop that fuels addiction,\u00a0 \u201cI hurt people, so I don\u2019t deserve love. I don\u2019t deserve love, so I keep using.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s not tough love. That\u2019s abandonment wearing moral justification.<\/span><\/p>\n

When Love Actually Gets Tough<\/span><\/h2>\n

Real love gets tough in different ways. It holds people accountable without humiliating them. It tells the truth without cutting the cord. It says, \u201cYou\u2019re responsible for your choices,\u201d and also, \u201cYou\u2019re still worthy of love.\u201d It\u2019s tough because it requires endurance, the courage to stay connected without control, to offer help without rescuing, to love without losing yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tough love, as it\u2019s often practised, is emotionally easy. You cut someone off and call it strength. Real love is harder, it demands patience, discomfort, and emotional maturity. It asks you to feel helpless without withdrawing, to stay present in pain without numbing out.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s the kind of toughness recovery requires. Not punishment. Presence.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Role of Compassionate Detachment<\/span><\/h2>\n

Compassionate detachment is the healthy alternative to \u201ctough love.\u201d It means you care deeply but don\u2019t take responsibility for another\u2019s choices. You set boundaries for your safety, not their punishment. You stop enabling destructive behaviour, but you don\u2019t stop loving the person.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s saying, \u201cI\u2019ll help you get treatment, but I won\u2019t fund your addiction.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span> It\u2019s saying, \u201cYou can always call me, but not when you\u2019re using.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span> It\u2019s understanding that love without limits is self-destruction, but love without compassion is cruelty.<\/span><\/p>\n

Detachment isn\u2019t coldness, it\u2019s clarity. It\u2019s knowing where you end and the other person begins. It\u2019s the only kind of love that can survive addiction intact.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Myth of Rock Bottom<\/span><\/h2>\n

The concept of \u201crock bottom\u201d is one of the most dangerous myths in recovery. It suggests there\u2019s a certain level of pain required before change becomes possible. But people\u2019s bottoms look different. For some, it\u2019s jail or overdose. For others, it\u2019s a single moment of awareness.<\/span><\/p>\n

Waiting for someone to hit bottom is like watching them fall and hoping gravity teaches them. It\u2019s a gamble that too often ends in funerals.<\/span><\/p>\n

Recovery doesn\u2019t require destruction, it requires opportunity. The presence of love, support, and access to help can interrupt the fall long before the crash. Rock bottom doesn\u2019t save people. Connection does.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why \u201cTough Love\u201d Persists<\/span><\/h2>\n

We cling to the myth because it protects us from our own pain. It\u2019s easier to say \u201cThey need to learn\u201d than to say \u201cI can\u2019t bear to watch.\u201d It turns heartbreak into strategy, guilt into logic. It gives parents, partners, and siblings something to hold onto when hope feels dangerous.<\/span><\/p>\n

But the truth is, \u201ctough love\u201d often soothes the family more than it helps the addict. It gives the illusion of control, a narrative that says, \u201cWe\u2019ve done all we can.\u201d And maybe sometimes that\u2019s true. Sometimes, stepping back is necessary for survival. But stepping back in bitterness is different from stepping back in grief. One closes the door. The other leaves the light on.<\/span><\/p>\n

Love That Doesn\u2019t Hurt to Give<\/span><\/h2>\n

Addiction teaches us something brutal but beautiful about love, it has to be both boundaried and brave. You can\u2019t fix people, but you can refuse to abandon them. You can love them enough to protect your peace without turning your heart to stone.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s the paradox of recovery,\u00a0 the softer you become, the stronger you get. Compassion isn\u2019t weakness, it\u2019s endurance. It\u2019s love that can stand in the fire without needing to throw anyone in it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Love, when done right, doesn\u2019t destroy you to save someone else. It saves both of you by demanding honesty, patience, and grace.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Courage to Stay<\/span><\/h2>\n

Maybe the hardest part of loving an addict is staying, not physically, but emotionally. Staying open when it would be easier to close. Staying hopeful when you\u2019ve been disappointed a thousand times. Staying kind when you\u2019re angry.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s what real \u201ctough love\u201d looks like. It\u2019s not about throwing people out,\u00a0 it\u2019s about standing firm without losing heart. It\u2019s loving someone enough to stop enabling and still being able to say, \u201cI\u2019m here when you\u2019re ready.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Because love doesn\u2019t cure addiction, but it makes recovery possible. And no one heals from being hated into wholeness.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cTough love\u201d has been passed down like a family heirloom, polished, praised, and misused for generations. It\u2019s the advice whispered to exhausted parents, shouted across intervention tables, and echoed through treatment circles,\u00a0 \u201cYou have to let them hit rock bottom.\u201d It sounds strong, responsible, even noble. But often, it\u2019s not love at all, it\u2019s surrender […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":90,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-89","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-health"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment - Psychiatric Care South Africa<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cTough love\u201d has been passed down like a family heirloom, polished, praised, and misused for generations. It\u2019s the advice whispered to exhausted parents,\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment - Psychiatric Care South Africa\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cTough love\u201d has been passed down like a family heirloom, polished, praised, and misused for generations. It\u2019s the advice whispered to exhausted parents,\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Psychiatric Care South Africa\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-10-24T10:30:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/love3.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1000\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"psychiatric.co.za\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"psychiatric.co.za\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"psychiatric.co.za\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ea84ea866177af17fd8bff6807c45380\"},\"headline\":\"The Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-10-24T10:30:34+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1400,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/love3.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Mental Health\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment - Psychiatric Care South Africa\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/love3.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-10-24T10:30:34+00:00\",\"description\":\"\u201cTough love\u201d has been passed down like a family heirloom, polished, praised, and misused for generations. It\u2019s the advice whispered to exhausted parents,\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/love3.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/love3.jpg\",\"width\":1000,\"height\":500},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/\",\"name\":\"Psychiatric Care South Africa\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Psychiatric Care South Africa\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/new-changes.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/new-changes.png\",\"width\":225,\"height\":75,\"caption\":\"Psychiatric Care South Africa\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ea84ea866177af17fd8bff6807c45380\",\"name\":\"psychiatric.co.za\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/psychiatric.co.za\\\/blog\\\/author\\\/psychiatric-co-za\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment - Psychiatric Care South Africa","description":"\u201cTough love\u201d has been passed down like a family heirloom, polished, praised, and misused for generations. It\u2019s the advice whispered to exhausted parents,","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment - Psychiatric Care South Africa","og_description":"\u201cTough love\u201d has been passed down like a family heirloom, polished, praised, and misused for generations. It\u2019s the advice whispered to exhausted parents,","og_url":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/","og_site_name":"Psychiatric Care South Africa","article_published_time":"2025-10-24T10:30:34+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1000,"height":500,"url":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/love3.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"psychiatric.co.za","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"psychiatric.co.za","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/"},"author":{"name":"psychiatric.co.za","@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/ea84ea866177af17fd8bff6807c45380"},"headline":"The Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment","datePublished":"2025-10-24T10:30:34+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/"},"wordCount":1400,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/love3.jpg","articleSection":["Mental Health"],"inLanguage":"en-ZA"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/","url":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/","name":"The Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment - Psychiatric Care South Africa","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/love3.jpg","datePublished":"2025-10-24T10:30:34+00:00","description":"\u201cTough love\u201d has been passed down like a family heirloom, polished, praised, and misused for generations. It\u2019s the advice whispered to exhausted parents,","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-ZA","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-ZA","@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/love3.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/love3.jpg","width":1000,"height":500},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/the-myth-of-tough-love-when-boundaries-become-punishment\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Myth of \u201cTough Love\u201d,\u00a0 When Boundaries Become Punishment"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/","name":"Psychiatric Care South Africa","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-ZA"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/#organization","name":"Psychiatric Care South Africa","url":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-ZA","@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/new-changes.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/new-changes.png","width":225,"height":75,"caption":"Psychiatric Care South Africa"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/ea84ea866177af17fd8bff6807c45380","name":"psychiatric.co.za","sameAs":["https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog"],"url":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/author\/psychiatric-co-za\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=89"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":91,"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions\/91"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/90"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=89"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=89"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychiatric.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=89"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}